|
|
Sunday, November 11th, 2007
| |
2:23 pm - Give me a 10 for Best Evanescence Inspired Style
|
|
| |
2:18 pm - Give me a 10 for Best Best Friend
|
|
| Friday, April 6th, 2007
| |
1:30 am
|
| Inside Your Mind. 184 unique Q's. | | Inside Your Mind. | | What do you like about yourself?: | A lot of things, maybe one of the best things being that I can find joy in simple things | | What do you dislike about yourself?: | I drag myself down sometimes | | Do you have any special talents?: | Well, I can sing and play a little piano. I can type quickly uhh...are those special talents? :-p | | What are some of your hobbies?: | Reading, singing, photography, filling out surveys lol | | Do you accept your anger?: | yes | | Do you accept your sadness?: | i suppose i have to, but no, not really | | Do you accept your worry?: | yes | | Do you accept your confusion?: | no, i hate being confused | | Do you accept your anxiety?: | no | | Do you accept your fear?: | yes | | What is difficult for you?: | Not overanalyzing everything | | About You. | | Favorite color?: | periwinkle blue | | Favorite song?: | your star- evanescence | | Favorite band?: | evanescence | | Favorite movie?: | Gia | | Favorite teacher (past or present)?: | Miss Ansalone | | Favorite book?: | many...a couple of Dean Koontz books hold a special place in my heart | | Favorite thing to do?: | talk to a certain someone | | Second favorite thing to do?: | read | | Favorite website?: | innocent reflections :) | | Do you like your looks?: | yes | | Do you like your body?: | i'm getting there | | Describe yourself. | | Length of hair?: | just short of waist length | | Color of hair?: | black | | Color of eyes?: | blue | | Height?: | 5'8" | | Are you athletic?: | nope | | Are you healthy?: | *much* healthier than I used to be | | What emotion do you hide?: | annoyance | | Do you think you’re smart?: | yes | | Are you religious?: | no | | What is your religion?: | it's kind of a mixture of a bunch of different ones. | | Do you believe in “God”?: | yes | | What do you want to “be” when you “grow up”?: | something special | | Do you get along well with people?: | yes | | Are you fun?: | i can be | | What makes a “good person” just that?: | their actions, words, and intentions | | How would others describe you?: | nice, quiet, polite, a bit eccentric, maybe? | | Friendship. | | How would you describe a “true friend”?: | someone who is always there when you need them, even though sometimes it's last place they want to be, lol | | Who is your best friend?: | nicole | | How did you meet?: | i don't even remember, it was 15 years ago | | Ever meet anyone who was just like you?: | never | | How do your friends help you to be more yourself?: | they encourage me to push my boundaries | | Relationships. | | Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?: | no | | If so, describe him or her.: | n/a | | What qualities do you look for in a significant other?: | I look for someone who understands me, or is willing to try. Someone honest and honorable | | Ever crush on someone who only liked you as a friend?: | yes | | Ever have someone crush on you and you only liked them as a friend?: | yes | | In a relationship… | | What makes you jealous?: | not much | | What makes you angry?: | lack of mutual respect, dishonesty | | What makes you happy?: | many, many things. | | What hurts your feelings?: | hurtful words, being ignored | | What makes you love them more?: | the little things...like the way they smile, or when they do something unexpected | | What have you learned about love?: | I'm not sure...not much, I'm afraid | | Describe your first relationship.: | I'd rather not...it's not something I like to recall | | What benefits come from being single?: | learning who you really are, and learning to love that person | | What benefits come from being with someone?: | sharing yourself and your love with another, being able to enrich each other's lives | | Family. | | What siblings do you have?: | 2 sisters | | Are you a first, last, middle or only child?: | first | | If you could change this, how would it be different?: | i wouldn't change the order | | Do you get along with your siblings?: | only one of them is capable of "getting along with". the other is severely disabled | | What do you like best about your brother(s)?: | n/a | | What do you like best about your sister(s)?: | being a role model | | What do you like best about being an only child?: | n/a....although i liked it for the first 11 years of my life | | Have you ever been embarrassed by family?: | sure | | Do/did your parent(s) try to make you think like them?: | not really | | Tough shit. | | What difficult experiences have you been through?: | let me summarize: birth, betrayal, love, death, depression, pain....haven't you experienced these? | | Has anyone close to you died?: | not very close, thank god | | How did you find out?: | ... | | Did you get to say good-bye?: | ... | | Have you known anyone your age die?: | yes | | Have you ever been really sick?: | yes | | Has anyone close to you ever been really sick?: | yes | | Do you have a drug problem?: | no, but the potential is there. | | Do you have a drinking problem?: | no | | Are your parents divorced?: | no | | Are/were your parents fighting constantly?: | no | | Do you let yourself feel emotional pain or make it go away?: | In the past I tried to kill the pain, but only brought more (lol) | | Do you believe pain makes us grow?: | yes, but it's a hard way to grow | | How do you feel when you see a homeless person?: | i'm ashamed to say, i don't really feel anything | | Have you ever witnessed extreme suffering?: | yes | | Do you ever wonder why there is so much suffering?: | no....because if there were no suffering, we'd never learn anything | | What kinds of things cause you pain?: | mostly things which lead me to believe that i am worthless | | What is the biggest mistake you’ve ever made?: | believing people when they told me that | | Have you ever thought about suicide?: | i've devoted way too much time to that thought | | What advice would you give to someone who is suicidal?: | find something to live for....anything. it'll keep you going until you can do it yourself | | Learning lessons. | | Do you think people learn from their mistakes?: | i hope so..but i think most people don't | | Do you think people can learn the “easy way”?: | yes | | Have you ever learned the “easy way”?: | yes | | Have you ever learned the “hard way”?: | oh yes | | What is the most difficult lesson you’ve learned?: | no matter how hard you try, you can't make someone love you | | Do you believe things happen for a reason?: | yes, everything | | Have you learned that nobody is perfect?: | yes | | What imperfections about yourself do you accept?: | most of them | | Do you try to look at both sides of a situation?: | yes | | Follow your dreams. | | “Follow your bliss.”: | :) | | What does this quote mean to you?: | do what your heart tells you to do | | What is your bliss?: | music | | Do you have a dream?: | no but i'm hoping to develop one | | What is your number-one goal?: | to be as happy as i can be | | “Do what you love and the money will follow." True?: | hopefully! | | If your dream was guaranteed to happen, what would it be?: | to be a songwriter | | Would you answer differently if the guarantee wasn’t there?: | yes | | Do you believe in yourself?: | sometimes | | Growing up. | | How old are you?: | 23 | | How old do you feel?: | sometimes, 5....sometimes, 40 | | What do you think is the perfect age?: | 25 | | How old do you think people should be before they… | | Get a job:: | 16 | | Cook for themselves:: | ?? | | Set their own bedtimes:: | 15 | | Go away with their friends:: | 18 | | Do their own laundry:: | 16 | | Have a boyfriend or girlfriend:: | depends on maturity | | Date:: | 15 | | Kiss:: | 12 | | Stay out past midnight:: | 16 | | Stay out as late as they want:: | 18 | | Have their own phone:: | 15 | | Drive:: | 17 | | Travel alone:: | 18 | | Drink:: | 21 | | Go to clubs:: | 18 | | Get married:: | 25 | | Have children:: | 25, but depends on maturity | | Vote:: | 18 | | Go out by themselves:: | 15 | | At what age do you think a person is mature?: | depends on the person | | Do you think maturity is a good thing?: | yes | | Do you think all adults are mature?: | no | | Do you think a difficult life makes a person grow up faster?: | it definitely can....or it can stunt your emotional growth | | What IS “grown up”?: | i'll let you know when i get there | | Are/were you scared or excited about growing up?: | yes i am both! | | Do you think of yourself as grown up?: | sometimes...but mostly no | | Do you want to be considered grown up?: | yes and no | | What do you think is the secret to happiness?: | loving yourself | | Random. | | What kind of toothpaste do you use?: | crest pro health | | Do you always brush your teeth before visiting a dentist?: | yes | | How many cavities do/did you have?: | 1 | | Ever wear braces or a retainer?: | yes | | How often do you shower?: | every day, mostly | | Do you prefer any shampoo brand?: | nope | | What is the weirdest band name you know of?: | red jumpsuit apparatus | | What are your favorite dog breeds?: | pomeranians, beagles | | Who was your childhood best friend?: | jenette | | Are you still friends with them today?: | yes | | How many computers are in your home?: | 2 | | Do you write with your left or right hand?: | right | | Do you take any vitamins?: | if i remember to | | How many doors are in your home?: | 12 | | How many windows are there?: | are you kidding? I think like 20 | | Do you have a collection of change somewhere?: | yes, but it's all pennies | | Would you go to jail for a good cause?: | what's a good cause for going to jail? | | Do you own a bookshelf?: | yes, it's much too small | | Are there any objects hanging from your room ceiling?: | no | | Are you okay with getting your blood drawn?: | yes...i kind of like needles, actually. weird, i know | | How about getting shots?: | yep i'm cool with it | | Do you like getting your picture taken?: | sometimes, mostly no...unless i'm taking it myself | | Opinions. | | Abortion?: | pro choice, but i think people who get multiple abortions should be sterilized | | Birth control pill?: | totally pro | | Casual sex?: | I think it's a personal matter, it doesn't bother me | | Illegal immigration?: | totally against | | Death sentence?: | against...but for some reason i go back and forth on this one. it's a tough issue | | Afterlife?: | it's almost irrefutable, even when you look at it scientifically. energy can't be created or distroyed...so it has to go somewhere | | Ghosts?: | i believe in them | | Legalizing marijuana?: | against.. | | Gun control?: | for...to an extent. i think people have a right to defend themselves in their homes....but i don't think concealed carry is ok unless you have a good reason | | Pornography?: | *shrug* it's entertaining lol....although the industry is horribly demeaning to men *and* women | | UFO conspiracy?: | i'm not a big conspiracy theorist, but i do of course believe that there is *so* much that we don't know | | Natural VS. Artificial medicine?: | natural medicine is better assimilated into our bodies, but artificial has it's place as well | | War in Middle East?: | it sickens me | Take this survey | Find more surveys | MySpace Surveys
Bzoink - The Original Survey Site |
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Friday, December 8th, 2006
| |
1:21 am
|
| This was 2006 | | Was it a good year?: | NO | | Why?: | got the flu, best friend's boyfriend was killed, best friend went over the edge, quit my job, broke up with boyfriend, gained 40 pounds, became poor, got really depressed | | Have you had a serious relationship?: | yes | | Have you made new friends?: | no | | Have you lost anybody?: | yea | | Where did you spend the year?: | a week in norway, a month in wisconsin, mostly home | | What did you do this summer?: | went to wisconsin | | What did you do on the 4th of July?: | got ready for my trip | | How many parties have you been to?: | 2 | | Did you drink any alcohol?: | yes | | Did you take any drugs?: | just prescription | | Have you done anything illegal?: | not really | | Did you have any 'firsts' this year, what was it?: | first trip to europe, first time away from home for a month | | Anything you regret?: | spending all my fucking money on food | | What shocked you?: | finding out that my best friend's boyfriend was killed, finding out my boyfriend was a virgin before he met me, finding out i can't trust anyone | | Are you proud of anything you did or that happened this year?: | not really | | What did you spend most time on doing?: | eating | | What should you've done more?: | work | | And less?: | um, eating | | Any resolutions for next year?: | no | | What was ... about the year? | | BEST: | dying my hair black, seeing evanescence in concert and meeting amy lee and john lecompt | | WORST: | the past few months, being jobless, penniless, loveless, and hopeless | | most FUN: | travelling | | less FUN: | i dunno | | SADDEST: | watching my best friend go through the grieving process | | COOLEST: | evanescence concerts | | Who... | | was your best friend?: | nicole | | did you hate?: | no one | | did you love?: | the same people i will always love | | helped you most?: | jacob | | supported you?: | jacob | | hurt you?: | no one | | made you cry?: | no one | | was your HERO?: | no one | | What was you favorite... | | shirt?: | evanescence band tshirt | | shoes?: | flip flops | | CD?: | The Open Door- Evanescence | | book?: | My Sister's Keeper- Jodi Picoult | | class?: | n/a | | website?: | myspace, IR, postsecret, neopets, evboard/evthreads | | Where... | | did you spend your freetime?: | home | | did you not go on purpose?: | out much | | did you want to be?: | home | | do you not want to go back to?: | work | | What was special about this year?: | evanescence | | Can you believe 2006 is over?: | no! this year went faster than any other in my life | Take this survey | Find more surveys
Bzoink - The Original Survey Site |
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
1:08 am
|
| Music Shuffle | | All About You! | | Physical | | Age:: | Slide- Dido | | Hair Color:: | 5 & a half minute hallway- Poe | | Best Physical Feature:: | Sweet Sacrifice- Evanescence | | What Others Think When They See You:: | Die For You- Megan McCauley (no need for that lol) | | Your Soundtrack | | Birth:: | Headstrong- Trapt | | First Day of School:: | All You Wanted- Michelle Branch | | First crush:: | Ja Soshla S Uma- Tatu (lol actually, that's kind of appropriate.) | | First kiss:: | Butterfly- Tori Amos | | Rejection:: | Intuition- Jewel | | Freshman year of high school:: | Field of Innocence- Evanescence | | Prom:: | One Thing- Finger Eleven (i didn't go to prom) | | Graduation:: | Time- Tori Amos | | College:: | Silent All These Years- Tori Amos | | College Graduation:: | Shadowboxer- Fiona Apple | | Sex:: | Otherworld- Gary Stadler with Stephannie | | Marriage:: | If You Were Mine- Mya | | Having children:: | Power of Goodbye- Madonna (lol yea cause i'd run away) | | Parents die:: | Bells For Her- Tori Amos | | Midlife Crisis:: | She's Always A Woman- Billy Joel | | Retiring:: | Absurd- Fluke | | Spouse Dies:: | Even in Death- Evanescence (ooh appropriate!) | | You Die:: | Going Under- Evanescence (lmao...perfect) | | Funeral:: | Walking on Broken Glass- Annie Lennox & the Eurythmics | | Your Thoughts On... | | Abortion:: | Tourniquet- Evanescence | | Bush:: | The First Taste- Fiona Apple (wtf) | | War on Terror:: | Fourth of July- Mariah Carey | | Immigration:: | Kissing You- Des'ree (weird) | | Drugs:: | Prostye Dvizheniya- Tatu | | Guns:: | The Revolution- BT (lol) | | Death Sentence:: | Going Under (instrumental)- Evanescence | | Geneva Convention:: | Zachem Ya (Why Am I?)- Tatu | | The Economy:: | I'm Only Happy When it Rains- Garbage | | Random | | Yesterday was:: | Thank You- Dido | | Today is:: | Baby it's Yours- Mya | | Tomorrow will be:: | Imaginary- Evanescence | | I Want:: | Mystery- Gary Stadler with Stephannie | | I Need:: | 1,000 Oceans- Tori Amos | | It would be great if:: | My Sacrifice- Creed | | I love:: | My Immortal- Evanescence | | I am:: | For You- Staind | | I will forever be:: | Perfect Girl- Sarah McLachlan | | My heart is:: | Anywhere- Evanescence | | My hero is:: | Sleeps With Butterflies- Tori Amos | | I should be:: | Slow Like Honey- Fiona Apple | | My life is:: | Samhain Night- Loreena McKennitt | Take this survey | Find more surveys
Bzoink - The Original Survey Site |
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, December 7th, 2006
| |
5:31 am
|
| Random Music of your Life (not the soundtrack) | | You know the rules, put your music on random and hit next for each question | | Your Birth: | Bohemian Rhapsody- Queen | | Grade School: | Me and a Gun- Tori Amos | | Junior High: | Garden of Simple- Ani DiFranco | | High School: | Dragonfly Queen- Joshua Kadison and Erikah Karst | | Senior Prom: | Silent All These Years- Tori Amos | | High School Graduation: | Thank You- Dido | | College: | Daddy- Jewel | | College Graduation: | I Can't Make You Love Me- Bonnie Raitt | | First Love: | Virginia- Tori Amos | | Breaking Up: | Run 2 U- Jewel | | Getting Back Together: | October- Evanescence | | Wedding: | Slow Like Honey- Fiona Apple | | Best Friend: | Otherworld- Gary Stadler with Stephannie | | Best Friend's Wedding: | DonaCreiTun- Gary Stadler with Stephannie | | Birth of your First Child: | Tourniquet- Evanescence | | First Job: | Song of Life- Leftfield | | Vacation: | Near you Always- Jewel | | Retirement: | Deanash- Gary Stadler with Stephannie | | Death Scene: | Do What You Have to do- Sarah Mclachlan | | Funeral: | Sleeps With Butterflies- Tori Amos (lol that rocks) | Take this survey | Find more surveys
Bzoink - The Original Survey Site |
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Friday, November 10th, 2006
| |
5:48 am
|
| You Are 68% Open Minded | 
You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded.
Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints.
But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line.
You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself. |
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, November 1st, 2006
| |
6:12 am
|
i want to believe that everything will be ok and that i'm on the right path, but what if i'm screwing it up? what if i've made a really big mistake, and now i can't take it back? what if i've hurt people needlessly, and in doing so, have hurt myself? what if i can never be ok, what if i'm always weak and unmotivated and a huge waste of space?
why can someone make me feel good about myself, but when that person is gone, i hate myself more than ever?
am i sabotaging myself, like i always do?
why can't i take control of my life and do what needs to be done, and actually fulfill the potential i've been told i have? why do i just want to sleep all the time instead?
*sigh* :(
current mood:  sad
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
6:00 am
|
1. HOW DO YOU LiKE YOUR EGGS? devilled i guess...i actually don't really like eggs all that much
2. WHAT WAS YOUR BEST BiRTHDAY PRESENT EVER? the ring my mom bought for me when i was 3 and saved until my 21st bday
3. WHAT iS YOUR DESKTOP BACKGROUND? collage of amy lee from the malice in wonderland shoot
4. WHAT DiD YOU HAVE FOR DiNNER YESTERDAY? chicken cutlets, corn, noodles
5. ARE YOU HAPPY WiTH YOUR WEiGHT? resounding no
6. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOViE YOU SAW WiTH YOUR FAMiLY? hmm i don't know
7. iF YOU COULD SWiTCH LiVES WiTH ANYONE, WHO WOULD iT BE, AND WHY? no one
8. WHAT iS THE UGLiEST PiECE OF CLOTHiNG YOU OWN? i don't think any of my clothes are ugly
9. WHAT iS YOUR MYSPACE URL? www.myspace.com/cirafly24
10. HOW MANY BEST FRiENDS DO YOU HAVE? 2
11. HAVE YOU EVER GONE SKiNNY DiPPiNG? yes
12. CAN YOU TYPE QUiCKLY? 75 words per minute
13. HOW MANY TiMES HAVE YOUR DROPPED YOUR CELL PHONE? many
14. HOW MANY SONGS DO YOU HAVE ON YOUR iPOD? i have an iriver clix...i think i have like 200 songs on there right now
15. ARE YOU A CAMERA WHORE? yes
16. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORiTE RESTAURANT? red lobster
17. WHEN WAS THE LAST TiME YOU WENT OUT WiTH YOUR FRiENDS, AND WHERE DiD YOU GO? like 2 weeks ago, i went to dinner at Chili's with a friend
18. WHAT ARE YOUR PARENTS' NAMES? michele and walter
19. WHAT ARE THE LAST FOUR DiGiTS iN YOUR PHONE NUMBER? 3206 and 0176
20. WHAT YEAR WERE YOU BORN iN? 1983
21. ONE WORD TO DESCRiBE YOUR PERSONALiTY? curious
22. HOW MANY WHiTE SHiRTS DO YOU OWN? a few
23. WHAT iS YOUR FAVORiTE SNACK? sunflower seeds
24. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? i have no idea
25. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR NAiLS PAiNTEd? none
26. DO YOU HAVE A NEOPETS ACCOUNT? yes! a premium account, even. my username is Cirafy24
27. DO YOU HAVE A DESiGNER BAG? i *had* a fake prada lol, but it was stolen
28. iF SO, WHAT KiND AND iS iT REAL? see ^^
29. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE COUNTRY? yes
30. iF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO? australia
31. DO YOU GET ALONG WiTH YOUR PARENTS? sometimes
32. DO YOU CRY A LOT? recently yes
33. HAVE YOU CRiED YOURSELF TO SLEEP? yea
34. HAVE YOU HAD A BiRTHDAY PARTY iN THE PAST YEAR? no
35. DO YOU TAKE A LOT OF PiCTURES? yes
36. DO YOU LiKE SCARY MOViES? they're ok
37. WHAT iS YOUR FAVORiTE MOViE? girl, interrupted
38. iS THERE SOMETHiNG YOU SHOULD BE DOiNG iNSTEAD OF THiS? yea sleeping so i can wake up tomorrow and actually do something productive for fucking once
39. iS SOCALiTE_SURVEYSz ONE OF YOUR FAVORiTE SURVEY SiTES? uh...no?
40. iS YOUR BEST FRiEND PRETTY? yes
41. ARE YOU JEALOUS OF ANYONE, RiGHT NOW? no
42. DO YOU LiKE SHARPiES? yea
43. HOW MANY LiP GLOSSES DO YOU HAVE? maybe two, but i don't use them
44. WHERE DO YOU GO TO THE DENTiST? total dental care
45. WHAT WERE YOU DOiNG A WEEK AGO, AT THiS TiME? haha are you serious? i can't remember what i was doing yesterday at this time
46. WHAT BRAND iS YOUR SHAMPOO? i don't know
47. WHAT KiND OF WATER DO YOU DRiNK? the wet kind
48. DO YOU HAVE A FRiEND NAMED ASHLEY? no, but my friend's dog is named ashley
49. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORiTE KiND OF BiRD? to the person before me who said "not an animal fan"... *slap*
50. ARE YOU A FLiRT? i don't think so
51. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? glasses for distance and driving
52. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT GRASS OR PLANTS? well, isn't oxygen a byproduct of photosynthesis? i think they're great!
53. WHAT iS YOUR FAVORiTE FABRiC? cotton
54. HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO BE A SUPERSTAR? yes
55. DO YOU A TRACKER ON YOUR XANGA? i never use my xanga
56. WHAT WAS THE LAST THiNG YOUR PUT iN YOUR MOUTH? water
57. HOW MANY PiERCiNGS DO YOU HAVE? 4, including ears
58. HOW ARE YOU FEELiNG? pissed
59. HOW OFTEN DO YOU GET YOUR EYEBROWS DONE? i do my own eyebrows
60. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR TOWELS iN YOUR BATHROOM? yellow
61. WHAT KiND OF TOiLET PAPER DO YOU USE? no clue
62. WHO'S YOU FAVORiTE FiNDiNG NEMO CHARACTER? dory
63. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORiTE DiSNEY MOViE? finding nemo :)
64. DO YOU REGRET ANYTHiNG? yea
65. WHEN WAS THE LAST TiME YOU WERE iN A HOTEL? july
66. DiD YOU EVER HAVE A PET GOLDFiSH? yes
67. WHEN WAS THE LAST TiME YOU FOLDED LAUNDRY? a few days ago
68. HOW MANY SKiRTS DO YU HAVE? 4 or 5
69. DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAUTE MEANS? yes, "high"..as in high fashion, haute couture
70. WHAT'S YOUR LUCKY NUMBER? 24
71. ARE YOU SPOiLED? no
72. WHAT COLOR iS YOUR HOUSE? blue
73. WHEN WAS THE LAST TiME YOU WENT SWiMMiNG? august
74. DO YOU GET A LOT OF EMAiL? no
75. DO YOU SWEAR A LOT? i do, and i don't like it
76. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES? blue
77. WHEN WAS THE LAST TiME YOU WATCHED A ViDEO ON A VCR? long time ago
78. WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST? myself
79. DO YOU HAVE REALLY LONG NAiLS? no
80. WHAT COLOR PiLLOWS DO YOU HAVE ON YOUR BED? purple
81. WHAT COLOR iS YOUR COUCH? blue
82. HOW MANY TVS DO YOU HAVE? 2
83. WHAT'S THE MOST iMPORTANT THiNG YOU OWN? evanescence autographs
84. WHO DO YOU LOVE? lots of people
85. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORiTE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT? subway
86. WHAT'S THE LOWEST GRADE YOU'VE EVER GOTTEN ON A REPORT CARD? F
87. HOW OLD iS YOUR OLDEST COUSiN? uhh i think like 40
88. WHAT'S YOUR HOUSE NUMBER? not telling
89. WHAT BRAND iS YOUR COMPUTER OR LAPTOP? gateway
90. CAN YOU DANCE? nope
91. WHAT'S THE STUPiDEST THiNG YOU'VE EVER DONE? i'm not sure
92. DO YOU STiCK UP FOR YOUR FRiENDS? if they need me to
93. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE FUTURE? yea
94. DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOiNG TO NAME YOUR CHiLDREN? children? where? *hides*
95. WHAT WOULD YOU RATE THiS SURVEY ON A SCALE OF 1-10? 6
96. DO YOU THiNK EVERY GiRL SHOULD BE TREATED LiKE A PRiNCESS? no
97. ARE YOU A RiCH GiRL? no
98. DO YOU WEAR A LOT OF MAKEUP? most of the time i don't wear makeup at all
99. WHAT COLOR iS YOUR HAiR? black
100. DO YOU LOVE YOUR LiFE? not right now
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
5:41 am
|
January
1. did you have a new year's resolution this year? Yes
2. if so, did you go through with it? No
3. does it snow where you live? yep
4. do you like hot chocolate? Yes
5. have you ever been to times square to watch the ball drop? No
6. do you or anyone you know have a birthday in this month? My cousin
February
1. did you have a valentine last year? i did, actually...the first time i ever have
2. did you WANT a valentine? Sure
3. did you play in the snow? yes, i was in Norway skiing
4. do you have february break? break from what
5. when you were little, did you buy valentines for your whole class? yea
6. do you or anyone you know have a birthday in this month? a friend of a friend's bday is feb 19
March
1. are you Irish? yes
2. do you wear green on St. Patty's Day? No
3. do you believe in leprechauns, four leaf clovers and all that stuff? No
4. do you or anyone you know have a birthday in this month? my mom, one of my best friends jenette, a guy i used to have a crush on
April
1. do you like the rain? sometimes
2. do you celebrate easter? only the commercialized version
3. do you get tons of candy on easter? yea
4. Have you ever danced or kissed in the rain? yea :)
5. do you believe in the easter bunny? lol no
6. do you or anyone you know have a birthday in this month? my ex boyfriend
May
1. what's your favorite kind of flower? white lilies and roses
2. do you love your mommy? yes
3. do you like the spring? love it
4. finish the phrase; APRIL SHOWERS: bring may flowers...
5. what would you think of as a spring color? green
6. do you or anyone you know have a birthday in this month? my friend felicia
June
1. what's the last grade you graduated from? i graduated from college
2. what day did/do you graduate school? high school in 2001, college in 2004
3. do you love your daddy? i guess
4. do you or anyone you know have a birthday in this month? my best friend nicole, my sister, a girl i used to be friends with
July
1. do you have any special occasions on 4th of july? Not really
2. would you consider yourself patriotic? minimally
3. do you go on any vacations during this month? i went to wisconsin for the month of july this year
4. ever gotten really drunk on 4th of july? hmm...i don't think so
5. do you or anyone you know have a birthday in this month? i don't think so
August
1. do you do anything special to end off your summer? no
2. does school start during this month? no
3. do you go swimming a lot in the summer? not a lot
4. do you like swimming? yes
5. do you go to the beach a lot? i haven't been to the beach in years...which is sad considering i would hit a beach if i drove 20 minutes in any direction
6. do you or anyone you know have a birthday in this month? my sister
September
1. does school start during this month? No
2. do you like school? hate it
4. who's your favorite teacher? i'm not in school
5. do you like fall better than summer? yes
6. do you or anyone you know have a birthday in this month? me :)
October
1. what was your craziest halloween costume ever? never had a crazy one
2. do you still go trick or treating? i did like 3 years ago, when i was 20
3. what's your favorite candy? anything chocolate
4. what are you gonna be this year? nothing
5. do you or anyone you know have a birthday in this month? my friend's mother
November
1. who's house do you usually go to for thanksgiving? it depends
2. do you like stuffing? no
3. what are you thankful for? i don't have much this year
4. name everyone who's at your family dinners? i'd rather not
5. do you or anyone you know have a birthday in this month? my dad, my friend's brother
December
1. do you celebrate christmas? the commercialized version
2. hannukah? no
3. do you get presents? Yes
4. what's your favorite present you ever got? funnily enough, a blow dryer. don't ask me why, i don't know
5. do you like cold weather? no
6. do you or anyone you know have a birthday in this month? a guy i used to know
: RAP :
do you listen to rap? no
do you tell people you listen to rap? i don't listen to it
do you speak like a gangster? NO
do you pretend to know how to speak like a gangster? NO
do you type like a gangster? No
have you ever been jumped for pretending to be a gangster? lol no
do you rap? No
do you attempt to rap? No
do people ever tell you to stop attempting to rhyme before they kick your ass? No
: HEAVY METAL :
do you tend to bang your head when you listen to heavy metal? No
have you ever hit something in the process? no
have you ever broken glass while listening to heavy metal? Yes
do you even know what heavy metal is? Yes
name 3 bands if so, and dont try to take this one out, we all know its here. oh god, tell me first which type of heavy metal, and I may satisfy your request.(but to name the classic ones: blue oyster cult, led zeppelin, and judas priest)
define heavy metal (you probably hate us now huh): genre of rock music that emerged as a defined musical style in the 1970s, having its roots in hard rock bands which, between 1967 and 1974, mixed blues and rock to create a hybrid with a thick, heavy, guitar-and-drums-centered sound, characterised by the use of highly-amplified distortion.
do loud banging noises excite you? no
on a scale of 1-10, how much do you absolutly adore heavy metal? 4
do you dance to heavy metal? (if so..LIE) no
: CLASSIC ROCK :
define classic rock. Original rock that was created in the 60s, to make it short.
name 3 classic rock bands: Rolling Stones, The Who, Jethro Tull
what do you do when you listen to classic rock? um...listen to it, maybe sing along
is AC/DC classic rock? no, they are hard rock.
what about eminem? (if you say yes to this question, i would understand if your not at school tomorow) lol that's ridiculous
do you get the sensation of being "happy" while listening to classic rock? not in particular
is guns and roses classic rock? No, they were hard rock.
do you even know who guns and roses is? uh yea...who doesn't
: COUNTRY :
do you have a country radio station saved on your car radio? No
do you own a cowboy hat? No
do you wish you were at a barbeque right about now? No
does your voice do that cool little changing thing when you sing? it can if i want it to
do you have a large family reunions on farms? No
do you own a farm animal? No
name 3 country singers. Faith Hill, Garth Brooks, Dixie Chicks
do you have a cool accent? maybe a slight ny accent
do you have leather boots? no
: EMO :
is it true that all you want is an emo boy to cry with? ...no
do you cry alot? lately
do you scream in a depressing helpless way all the time? No
do you listen to emo? not really
name 3 emo screamers..er singers: i can't
are you depressed over strange things? strange things??
define emo: Emo is a subgenre of hardcore punk music. The term emo was derived from the fact that, on occasion, members of a band would become spontaneously and strongly emotional during performances.
do you hate the world? no
: POP :
do you listen to hillary duff? no
do you think avril lavigne is "punk"? i think she's whatever she wants to be...who cares?
do you find ricky martin attractive? Not really
do you listen to pop? Some
describe pop: uh popular, commercial
do you like britney spears? No
does britney spears have 1 t or 2 t's? one
do you own any britney spears albums? guilty
do you have a poster of the backstreet boys on your wall? god no
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Saturday, October 28th, 2006
| |
5:10 pm
|
|
| Monday, October 2nd, 2006
| |
6:56 pm
|
| Seriously Random. | | Do you like pancakes?: | yes | | When was the last time you ate an apple?: | a few days ago | | What gives you a headache?: | loud music | | Labelling People ((Goth, Punk ect)):: Right or Wrong?: | depends if they want to be labelled | | What's your favourite girls' name?: | savannah | | What's the first thing that springs to mind when I say "GOOD CHARLOTTE" ?: | eyeliner | | Explain what a swirl is.: | um...isn't it just like a twirl | | Are you in a band?: | yep | | Who's your best friend?: | nicole | | Are you single?: | yea | | Have you ever eaten a worm?: | no | | Would you run down the street naked for �1,000/$1,000?: | no | | Do you think that babies are sweet?: | yes | | But aren't Murderdolls just better?: | no | | Do you like the colour purple?: | yes | | Who was the last person you texted on your cell phone/mobile?: | evanescence enews | | Are you in love?: | ... | | Does the person you're in love with know that you love them?: | ... | | Is testing cosmetics on animals wrong?: | yes | | What would you do if one day you woke up, and Slipknot were watching you?: | scream | | Who's better, Me or You?: | we're no better or worse than each other | | Do you think that Rayman's fit?: | what?? | | What's the first word that springs to mind when I say "MEGA STARKY" ?: | wtf | | ... and "AQUA EYEZ"?: | an aqua eye | | Who is your hero?: | amy lee and angelina jolie | | Do you honestly think that you're an attractive person? o_o;: | sure | | Did you like this survey?: | it was ok | | Did you think I had fun making it?: | seems like it | | Biggest Poser: Avril Lavigne or... Jerry Springer?: | i don't think either is a poser | Take this survey | Find more surveys
Bzoink - The Original Survey Site |
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
6:28 pm
|
| secret info | | What is your name? (First and last): | jenna incognito..*snort* | | Are you into kinky?: | maybe | | Do you think that gothic is sexy?: | yes | | Are you bisexual,straight,gay,lesbian or bi curious?: | bisexual | | Whats the best song to make out to?: | nobody by keith sweat | | Whats the best song to have sex to?: | same ^^ | | Whats the kinkiest thing you can think of?: | you don't want to know | | Does tight leather turn you on?: | on a woman | | When a guy wears tight leather?: | not really | | When a girl wears tight leather?: | yep | | Would you ever make out the vampiric way?: | ooooh | | Whats your favorite body part on a girl?: | hips | | Whats your favorite bodly part on a guy?: | shoulders | | Are you a virgen?: | no | | Whats the furthest youve gone?: | as far as you can go | | Whats your favorite postion?: | this is kind of embarassing | | What postion do you most want to try?: | i don't know | | Would you ever do it anally?: | no | | Whos the hottest person of the opposite sex?: | in the world? probably johnny depp | | Whos the hottest person of the same sex?: | kate beckinsale and/or angelina jolie | | Would you ever make out with a guy and girl at the same time?: | sure | | Would you ever have sex with a guy and girl at the same time?: | have | | Whats the furthest Youve gone with some one else in the room?: | i'm alone | | Are you into bondage?(handcuffs etc.): | hehe..yea | | What would you never do with some one?: | anything painful or gross | | What would you never let some one do to you?: | see above | | Whats the horniest you have ever been?: | how can you explain that? | | What made you that horny?: | a person | | Have you ever played with your self?: | sure | | Have you ever played with your self with some one in the room?: | yes | | Would you ever play with your self with some one in the room?: | depends who it was | | Would you ever let some one take pics of you playin with your self?: | no | | Would you ever eat pussy?: | have | | Would you ever give some one a rim job?: | no | | Would you ever give some one a blow job?: | yes, but i haven't | | Are you in to the biting while having sex?: | maybe a little | | Are you into scratching while having sex?: | no | | Are you into dominatrix?: | no | | Do you like being on top or on bottom?: | bottom | | Are you into the whole sex slave thing?: | no | | During sex are you into teasing your partner?: | not really | | Are you into peircings?If so were?: | whatever | | Are you into hair pulling?: | no | | Do you mlike rough sex or soft sex?: | both | | Do you like surveys like this?If so want me to make more?: | uhm | Take this survey | Find more surveys
Bzoink - The Original Survey Site |
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
6:08 pm
|
| 45 of the most random things you probably never needed to know about someone | | whats your name spelt backwards?: | annej | | What did you do last night?: | went to bed early | | The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?: | The Last Song I'm Wasting On You | | Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?: | yes, and i liked it | | Last time you swam in a pool?: | in august | | What are you wearing?: | pink pj pants, a green tshirt, and a black hoodie | | How many cars have you owned?: | two | | Type of music you dislike most?: | gospel | | Are you registered to vote?: | yes | | Do you have cable?: | yes | | What kind of computer do you use?: | gateway | | Ever made a prank phone call?: | yep | | You like anyone right now?: | yes i do | | Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?: | i'd go sky diving | | Furthest place you ever traveled?: | norway | | What's your favorite comic strip?: | calvin and hobbes | | Do u know all the words to the national anthem?: | yes | | Shower, morning or night?: | whatever | | Best movie you've seen in the past month?: | the illusionist | | Favorite pizza toppings?: | mushrooms | | Chips or popcorn?: | chips | | What cell phone provider do you have?: | cingular | | Have you ever smoked peanut shells?: | lol no | | Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?: | no | | Orange Juice or apple?: | apple | | Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?: | umm...i went to lunch with nicole last week, but i think you mean at school. graduated 5 years ago | | favorite chocolate bar?: | 100 grand | | Who is your longest friend and how long?: | jenette...15 years | | Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?: | i don't know | | Have you ever won a trophy?: | no | | Favorite arcade game?: | not sure | | Ever ordered from an infomercial?: | no | | Sprite or 7-UP?: | either | | Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?: | yes, to work | | Last thing you bought at Walgreens?: | packing tape | | Ever thrown up in public?: | yes | | Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?: | true love | | Do you believe in love at first sight?: | i want to | | SPONGEBOB OR JIMMY NEUTRON?: | spongebob | | Did you have long hair as a young kid?: | i had long and short hair, i've never been able to decide | | What message is on your voicemail machine?: | i think just "hey it's jenna, leave a message and i'll call you back" | | Where would you like to go right now?: | 0_0 connecticut | | Whats the name of your pet?: | Oliver | | What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it?: | i don't have one | | What do you think about most?: | i think about a lot of things...recently, the evanescence concerts | Take this survey | Find more surveys
Bzoink - The Original Survey Site |
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
6:01 pm
|
| Describe yourself using one band and song titles from that band | | Choose a band/artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band:: | okay..evanescence songs | | Are you male or female:: | Hello...? | | Describe yourself:: | Understanding | | How do some people feel about you:: | Haunted | | How do you feel about yourself:: | Everybody's Fool | | Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend:: | Farther Away | | Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend:: | Taking Over Me? (i don't have one) | | Describe where you want to be:: | Field of Innocence | | Describe what you want to be:: | Good Enough | | Describe how you live:: | Like You | | Describe how you love:: | All That I'm Living For | | Share a few words of wisdom: | Ascension of the Spirit | Take this survey | Find more surveys
Bzoink - The Original Survey Site |
current mood:  blank
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
5:51 pm
|
| You and ur life. (take this survey, it rocks) | | General stuff | | Whats yur name?: | jenna | | How old r u?: | 23 | | Preference? (straight/gay/bi): | bi | | Where u live?: | long island | | Friends... | | do you have alot of friends?: | a few | | who are your best friends?: | nicole and jenette | | Whos the funniest out of them?: | uh..i'm not sure | | What about the most serious?: | me | | ....the most emo?: | lol me | | ....the most gangsta?: | gina | | ....the weirdest?: | jenette | | ....the most annoying?: | jenette | | FUN | | Whats the latest inside joke with you and your friends?: | hmm i don't remember | | When was the last time you guys all hung together?: | like two weeks ago | | Where did you guyz go?: | a bar | | What did you do?: | sat around and was bored | | What was the funniest thing that happened aaaalll day?: | lol i spilled my drink all over the place when a cute guy tried to shake my hand | | How was that day over all?: | sucky | | Love and that good stuff. | | Whats their name?: | i don't want to go into this | | Do they have a sexy voice? (lol): | i don't know | | Do you think that is too old/young for you?: | no | | Did anything awkward happen when you met?: | i'll let you know | | Do you rock their socks off?: | lol wtf | | Do you think thier hot?: | yes | | Do you think its a good match with yourz?: | yourz? you're an idiot | | Do you think they love you the same?: | don't say that word | | Do u guyz get intimate? XP: | ;) | | What base have you guyz gotten to?: | *rolls eyes* geez | | How many people have you gone out with in the past month?: | none | | Have you ever been dumped?: | yes | | Have you ever dumped anyone?: | yes | | Have you ever TRUELY been in love?: | i think i have | | If so did/do you like it?: | lol yea | | If not do you hope to be someday?: | yes | | Would you call yourself a hopeless romantic?: | sadly, yea | | Music n stuff like that.. | | What kinda music you into?: | all kinds | | Whats ur favorite band?: | evanescence | | Do you listen to them everyday?: | yes | | R u an emo hater? (cause they suck XP): | no | | do you like to sing?: | yes | | R u in any type of band?: | lol yes!! | | Ever been to a concert?: | yep | | Ever stage dived?: | no | | Ever been in a mosh pit?: | no | | If so did you like it?: | n/a | | Can you free style?: | no | | R u good at it?: | ... | | Do/did you ever have rap battles with your friends?: | no | | Can you break dance?: | no | | Can you dance at all?: | nope | | Ever been to a rave?: | no | | If so was it awsome?: | ... | | Drugs n ciggs n alky.. | | Do you smoke ciggs?: | no, i quit 8 months ago | | Do you/have you done any drugs?: | i've smoked weed | | Name a few...: | there you have it | | Ever been bombed?: | yea | | Whats ur favorite alchohalic beverage?: | i assume you mean alcoholic...i like vodka with cranberry juice | | R u straight edge? (cause if you r ur cool ;D ): | no | | What did you.... | | wear today?: | pajama pants, tshirt, and a hoodie..i'm just sitting home | | last listen to?: | instrumental version of Imaginary by Evanescence | | do today?: | nothing | | eat last?: | lucky charms | | say last?: | "okay" | | watch on tv last?: | i don't know | | Who did you.... | | talk to last?: | my sister | | hug last?: | jenette | | smile at last?: | my sister | | kiss last?: | jacob | | IM last?: | matthew | | Screw last? HA HA...just joking you dont have to answer this. he he.: | ok then | | swear at last?: | i don't generally swear AT people | | take a picture of last?: | myself | | give the finger last?: | probably jenette | | fight last? (fist fight): | no one | | make fun of last?: | no one | | get good advice from last?: | amanda on IR | | go to the mall with last?: | hmm...i don't remember | | Random shit... | | do like elephants?: | yes | | does celery get stuck in your teeth alot?: | no | | Do i make you wanna puke? XD: | yes | | do you love your mommy?: | yes | | do you have any pets?: | a cat | | do you like the smell of laundry detergant?: | yes | | do u like guyz in tight pants?: | not really | | girls in tight pants?: | sure | | GUYZ: if i gave you a 20 would you skip around the mall in a pink skirt?: | ... | | GURLZ: would you try to piss standing up if i gave you a 20? (lmfao): | sure, i could use $20 | | Do you hate ur ex bfs/gfs?: | no | | would you kill your worst enemy if you had a chance?: | no | | do you like whipped cream?: | yes | | do you think ur hot?: | not usually | | What would you do if i came up to you and handed you an empty shoebox?: | 0_o | | WHAT WOULD YOU PUT IN THAT SHOOOOEBOX!!!?? o_o: | nothing, it would probably end up on my bedroom floor getting stepped on | | Do you like your nose?: | it's ok | | do you find this part of the survey strange in anyway?: | no | | So...getting to the end... | | where you gonna post this survey?: | i think my lj | | did you enjoy taking it?: | it was ok | | r u VERY annoyed by me?: | just by your spelling and grammar | | Any last words....?: | famous ones, i'm sure | | K kool....BYE!: | er...bye | Take this survey | Find more surveys
Bzoink - The Original Survey Site |
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, September 28th, 2006
| |
6:22 am - stream of consciousness while drunk and on pills
|
Falling apart
Dear diary
Tonight I dreamed I was a star
And I was flying through space
To fall down sweetly on your face
Like snowflakes in your hair
Like diamonds
Then gone
I can’t hold on to myself
Time passes before I realize its here
And I’m not cut out for this
You were my rock
But I crushed you
and now you’re sand under my hands
and you can’t help me anymore
on my knees under this tree
please don’t forsake me
they’ll never see
but it’s burning inside of me
do I deserve to be alone?
Save my life
What life?
Addiction
Compulsion
Contradiction
Destruction
Self destruction
Tell me I need to let go
But don’t tell me how
I told you goodbye and I meant it
But I need you to save me
Does that make me selfish
So much to lose
And yet nothing
My hair is trailing in the cool grass
Smooth green blades against the black strands
Help me be me
I’m screaming, clawing, pounding to get out
My fingers are bleeding
My voice is hoarse
But I’ve gone unheard
Unhelped
Alone
Judge my value by my income
Judge my worthiness by my willingness
To conform
Tell me how I should be
Should I bow before you
Should I sacrifice myself
Should I die
For you
Rage blinds me
Scares me, finds me
Hides inside of me
The scars on my body
Are a map of my sorrows
They tell my story
In all it’s beauty and tragedy
They are not something to be ashamed of
For you to hold against me
When will you come take me away
I’ve been waiting so long
Come take me
Far away
So much love wasted
Given indiscriminately, innocently
Use me, hurt me, fuck me, kill me
Leave me
I want to paint your picture
Show you how beautiful you are
To me
But I try and I can’t do you justice
My hands covered in black and red
But you are not in there
Instead what comes out is
Rage
Black and red slashes of pain and anger
RAGE
Rage for what you did to me
What you didn’t do
What you said you’d do
What you did to her
RAGE RAGE
I can’t see you through the red
my cries are drowned out in the black
My screams, as silent as death
As helpless as a child
The danger is palpable
On my knees under this tree
Weeping willow
Hide me from myself
Wracked with sobs
Despair holds my hand
But is no comfort
My rock is now sand under my hands
I try to put you back together, but a million little pieces
Just slip through my fingers
As I watch, despondent
Where will I go?
Who will save me?
Help me live
I seem to have forgotten how
I’ve been existing for so long
Show me
Please
I had a moment of clarity
I knew I was strong
Able
Willing
…stable
but then I slipped, fell
and it shattered
a million little pieces
and I can’t fix it
not alone, not by myself
how DARE you
have done this to me
your words, your actions, your inactions
have shaped my whole fucking “life”
how DARE you
have made me feel this way
what RIGHT do you have
to make me hate myself
to take away my will to live
to promise me everything
and leave me with NOTHING
to make me hate you so much
and yet make me twisted enough to love you
HOW DARE YOU
All my screams, unheard
All my fears, dismissed
All my love, refused
Fuck you
Where did I go wrong
Where was the wrong turn
I knew I should have made that left
But you said go right
And I trusted you
I trusted you
Sick sick sick
I’m SICK
So go ahead
Use me
Abuse me
Fuck me
Leave me
Hold me down
I can’t move
Tell me I belong to you
Violate me
You remember that don’t you
Scream, scream, scream
I screamed so much for so long
Till my voice gave out
And you, laying on top of me,
Didn’t even hear
How can I expect anyone else to?
So take me away
Kidnap me, take me
Take me somewhere far away
Where faeries flit and knomes roam
Where no one will find us
Where we can just lay here
And forget the world
If not
Give me another pill
Another drink
Another razor
Because I can’t live like this
Pressure pressing down on my head
The snowflakes and stars are gone
Blackness surrounds
Whispers in the dark
You have to do this
You have to do that
You should, you must
You can’t live like this
…no kidding
feeling worthless now
I take up too much space
Try to pull me into myself
But to no avail
My obsessions, my compulsions
Rule the day
Sleep is my only reprieve
Take me away, please
Please take me away
I need relief
I need to feel real
But I want to feel unreal
No motivation, no reason to get up
Wallow in my own despair
You knew all along somehow
There’s something very wrong about this
Take advantage of me
The joke is on me
Was always on me
But manipulation was key
And I let you
I wanted you to love me
Instead you used me
And I settled for that
How can I escape you?
When you’re even in my dreams
Need more wine
I’m a failure
Can you still love me?
Can anyone?
I’m weak
Would you still believe in me?
Would anyone?
I’m worthless
Will you still stay with me?
Will anyone?
I look in the mirror and I’m surprised
Should be able to see through me by now
I’m insubstantial, like an apparition
There isn’t much to me
Why can you see me?
Don’t look at me
Tonight I had a dream
That I was a star
And I was shooting through space
And everyone looked and thought I was beautiful
But you said “that’s not a star
That’s an imposter, a fake”
And they all called me names
And threw things at me
And I fell…
And what is a fallen star?
Is it still celestial?
Or is it just the ashes of what could have been
And I loved you
I loved you more than I thought possible
I loved who you were, who you are, who you’ll be
No matter where life will take us
Know that I love you
current mood: depressed
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Sunday, August 13th, 2006
| |
10:38 pm
|
9 lasts --
9.] last place you were: i've been in this house for three days
8.] last cigarette: real cigarette- 6 months ago, but i smoke herbal cigarettes sometimes
7.] last beverage: diet cherry coke
6.] last movie watched: Uptown Girls
5.] last phone call: I don't know, i haven't talked to anyone on the phone in almost a week
4.] last cd played: i've been playing mp3's
3.] last BUBBLE bath: at least two years ago
2.] last time you cried: about 10 days ago
1.] last time you went shopping: I don’t even remember
8 have you evers --
8.] have you ever dated someone twice: yes
7.] have you ever been cheated on: yea
6.] have you ever kissed someone: yea
5.] have you ever kissed someone you regret: sure
4.] have you ever fallen in love: yea
3.] have you ever lost someone: yes
2.] have you ever been depressed: yes
1.] have you ever been drunk and thrown up: yes
7 this or thats --
1.] shorts or skirts: Skirts...long ones
2.] converse high tops or low: Low.
3.] facing towards the shower or away: Away
4.] sucking popsicles or biting: sucking
5.] RAZR or SLVR phone: neither
6.] napster or limewire: klitePRO
7.] coke or pepsi: either, diet
6 things you've done today --
1.] Had messed up dreams
2.] Woke up
3.] Sat on the computer
4.] Ate
5.] ...
6.] ...
5 people you can tell pretty much anything to --
1. Nicole
2. Jacob
3. ...
4. ...
5. ...
4 things you're wearing --
1. pajama pants
2. tshirt
3. ...
4. ...
3 favorite colors --
1. blue
2. black
3. pink
2 things you want to do before you die --
1. be happy
2. make a difference
1 wish --
1. that i was happy
1) What is your favorite kind of lotion? I don’t know
2) Do you like peanut butter cookies? Not really
3) Did you play with Legos when you were a kid? Sometimes
4) Do you believe in Evolution? yes
5) Do you like to play with candle wax? Sometimes
6) Do you like movies with a lot of action? some
7) Chicago or Moulin Rouge? neither
8) Lord Of The Rings or Harry Potter? harry potter
9) South Park or Family Guy? Family Guy
10) What is your favorite kind of bread? marble rye
11) What is your philosophy on love? i don't have one
12) Are your nails painted? If so, what color(s)? no
13) Do you like to play video, computer, or board games? Sometimes
14) Do you enjoy going to carnivals? Sure
15) How is your immune system? ok i guess
16) Are you a jealous person? Not really
17) Do you have a bad temper? No
18) If someone close to you, confided in you that they were gay, would that change your opinion of them? Would you treat them any differently? Would you support them in their lifestyle? they did, no it didn't, no i didn't, and yes i did
19) What is your favorite kind of pasta sauce? the red kind
20) Did you like to play 20 Questions when you were younger? I never did
21) What about I Spy…? Yes
22) What is your favorite color crayon? periwinkle
23) Do you like old black and white films? no
24) Do you like westerns? no
25) Do you like Clint Eastwood better when he was younger and doing spagetti westerns or now? Or do you not even like him at all? I don’t really care
26) What do you think of John Travolta? I loved him in Grease..now he's a scientologist and that's scary
27) What do you think of Scientology? it's a crazy cult
28) Have you ever gone skiing? yes
29) Do you find vampires to be sensual? yes
30) Are you interested in history? Kind of
31) Do you daydream often? sure
32) Describe a dream or nightmare that you have had (it doesn’t have to be recent): last night i dreamed that i was going in for gastrointestinal surgery, and they found out i was pregant and removed the fetus...which was still alive. but then it stopped breathing and turned into a monster
33) If you were to get married, would you keep your maiden name or take your husband’s? i don't know
34) Isn’t it the same basic thing to be a cheater as it is to be a liar? it depends
35) Did you go to preschool or early fives, or just straight to kindergarten? I went to pre-school
36) Do you get annoyed when people interrupt you? Sometimes
37) Do you get sicked out when you’re swimming and feel slimy plants on your feet and/or legs? yes
38) Have you ever floated down a fast-moving river, just you, no tubes, no boats, etc.? No
39) Do you have to hold your nose when you go underwater? No
40) What was the last muscle you pulled? my neck
41) Do you like to listen to Mindless Self Indulgence? don't know it
42) Are you self-indulgent? yes
43) Do you meditate? No
44) Do you do yoga? Nope
45) What are you wearing? pajamas
46) Has anyone ever told you that you have a certain kind of smile? um, a pretty one
47) What is your favorite texture? soft cotton
48) Is the majority of your favorite foods hot or cold? both
49) Do you have any enemies? No
50) Do you actually like your hometown? sure
current mood: blank
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, August 1st, 2006
| |
10:13 pm
|
|
| Wednesday, March 1st, 2006
| |
5:07 am
|
last night i dreamed that steve told me he loved me, and that he finally realized how stupid he'd been all those years ago. and i looked at him...and told him it was too late. i told him i'd found someone who loved me more than anything, and that he was the one i wanted.
it was very sad, for some reason. but empowering, too.
it's the first time i ever felt like i was in control in a dream concerning him
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
jenna1492's journal
